No 22

Haven't my boots sprung a leak. Rather, the right one has most definitely. It's always the right boot that starts to leak.

No 21

When you're trying to put up your hair in a ponytail and the elastic band goes round twice but not quite thrice and you'd ideally need thrice.

No 20

When you open a big juicy grapefruit and the skin is so thick it's mostly skin.

No 19

Ladders in tights.

But mostly, that PDF files open at like 250% all the time. Why?

No 18

I rooted my phone and lost the Blogger app, and can't reinstall it until we've done a proper new setup with a new whatchamacallit like operative system? Because now it's on like a factory reset setting and is quite old-fashioned and slow. So I can't blog which is annoying.

Everyone who makes the following mistakes when putting stuff up for sale online ought to be deported immediately (what follows is in Swedish):

omlottströja/klänning/blus
hutch
chabby chic/schabby chick och all varianter
fotölj

I really need comfy knickers. I found a terrific brand, but it's sold like nowhere and definitely nowhere in Uppsala, and now they've discontinued it. I spent loads of money on knickers that SEEMED as though they'd be comfy but they're NOT. You know those pics of a brain, like a pie chart, that people post on comedy sites? What's going through a dog's/man's brain etc - sex, food, running after sticks? Well, mine would be at any given moment about 80 % about my knickers. They're riding up my arse, I'm so uncomfortable, how can I yank them out in public, where can I find knickers that don't ride up my arse, how can I extend the life span of the few miracle pairs I own, oh my god I'm so happy I'm wearing knickers that don't ride up my backside etc.

EIGHTY PER CENT. I'm not joking. It's amazing that I function at all.

No 17

This business of doing the post titles in numerical order is already annoying me. I've already gotten them mixed up once so I had to edit.

Yesterday I noticed my bike tyres/tires (which is the English one? Annoying that I can't remember) were a bit flat. So this morning I left a little earlier to swing by the petrol station and pump the tires in the automatic thingie. And it was BROKEN. And I was so tired.

And there was a man on the train today who talked loudly on the phone non-stop for 25 minutes. In Hindi or other Indian sub-continent language (no, I can't tell them apart, sadly, despite a Pakistani sister-in-law). When it's so foreign it's just white noise (lol) really, you kind of block it out. But then he started repeating a series of numbers in English. "Seven five double-six two four. Double-six. Two. Four. [Hindi Hindi Hindi] seven five double-six... Seven. Seven. Five. Double-six. Two. DOUBLE-SIX. Two. Four. [Hindi Hindi Hindi]"

No 16

Our fridge broke. On a Saturday, naturally, so the landlord only has emergency service and now we have a small half-fridge standing taking up space in the kitchen, waiting for the real fixers on Monday.

No 15

Hang on, what was it now. I had it this morning.

Oh yes.

You know these things that go round the internet, especially on Facebook, those texts about how non-coddled us auld people were growing up - we cycled without helmets, we stayed out all hours, we played in the streets etc etc. Well, I'll confess to hitting the like button on a few of them in the past, but this morning I suddenly got majorly annoyed, because what the hell is the point? Frankly, a lot of people spreading these texts would NEVER raise their own kids that way EVER. The street lights were our curfew? If you're, say, American, and you knew this was the rule for one of your neighbour's children I'd bet you'd ring the Social Services on them.

Put your money where your mouth is or accept that you ARE the nanny state.

No 14

When you're dressed and ready to go so have to just sit and wait for the Right Time.

No 13

I can't find my bike keys. There's a risk they're in a long-gone binbag. Fuck.

No 12

Cycling in a skirt that is fairly free around the legs yet just not enough.

No 11

Cycling in a skirt that is fairly free around the legs yet just not enough.

No 10

The single most annoying thing Mr Bani does is take one section of the newspaper, open it and fold it over and start reading an article and then wander off leaving the newspaper all folded up like that. Why oh why can't he learn that newspapers are read from the beginning to the end and always left neatly closed so the next person can easily start reading from beginning to end?

No 9

Little kids who hear me speaking English to my kids and see it as an invitation to tell me all about what words they know in English. Hello. Good-bye. One two three four five.

Sometimes I wish my mother had spoken Irish instead.

No 8

Those inserts in magazines and mail order catalogues that completely hamper the leafing experience.

No 7

Fecking bloatware on the phone. And it starts up automatically if I restart the phone. It's ludicrous. That stocks and shares app - who needs it! Footprints -  go away.

No 6

Things I may never again have to buy ever, unless I become a very proficient ebayer: brown packing tape. I think I've found three rolls now. I'm not counting the clear tape, mind. There are more uses for clear tape.

No 5

I have to go to the shop and think of a dinner. Boring.

No 4

Blogs that don't have mobile friendly pages. Especially if they're sorta big and I kinda feel should be more techie.

No 3

It's so fecking annoying having only one bathroom. It'll be marginally better after we move but there will still be only the one shower -  oh she's done. My turn.

No 2

Mr Bani forgot to get the laundry and I can't go myself because they've all gone off and left me without a key.

No 1

I used to hang out A LOT on some internet forums where I often started a thread called Bani's Thread of Annoying Things or something to that effect. And now I thought I'd start a little blog instead, because then I can vent BUT not feel guilty for not having time to be an active forum member (something that annoys me. Saddens me too, but mostly maybe annoys me). Plus with the Blogger app (which is sorta shite, which is annoying) I can jot stuff down on my commute. I have another blog about what I'm reading but I never get time to write proper posts with, like, thoughts, and it's impossible to do on a phone. Which is annoying. But the most annoying thing is that JUST annoyingthings.blogspot.com was taken! By someone who hasn't written since 2003! Annoying! I wanted to get away from the bani, because it has a Meaning I was unaware of when I took it as my internet alias many moons ago. Meanings, in fact. And I notice it turning up more and more online, like other people are trying to hog it. I weed (wee:ed? wee-d?) here first you idiots. Annoying.