No 65

I spent all night yesterday wandering in and out of the kitchen looking for something nice to eat because my decrepit memory cells knew there was something somewhere - well that's my punishment for not drinking tea with milk and therefore having no reason to open the fridge. My daughter had baked biscuits but put them in the fridge. Who puts fecking biscuits in the fridge. 

No 64

There's a trend, at least here, at least in the tabloid-y magazines, to write a piece about someone's misfortunes or print someone's letter to the editor, and either ask for and get, or else plain just lift, a profile pic of said person from their social media accounts. So there's a heap of "articles" out there about serious or at least not frivolous subjects illustrated by selfies taken before a night of clubbing. Today I spotted the headline "As dog owners we can't take responsability for your child's behaviour", illustrated by a sultry, dark-lipped pout. I'm so ready for this "trend" to be over.

no 63

People who put spaces before/after brackets and text like ( brackets ) instead of (brackets)
People who put spaces before/after slashes like before / after or red / blue

Two for one!

No 62

My whole body is itching to go home, find my tweezers and get these two monster hairs I can feel sprouting out of my chin. Argh. See previous post.

No 61

What is the POINT of having grown-up daughters around when they won't pluck your old-lady under-chin hairs for you.

No 60

It really annoys me when people cross out the wrong word when the idea is that you're pretending that you're typing  a Freudian slip or similar. You cross out the word that's true and leave the polite white lie. For example: 

I was going to leave the washing-up over night but my husband went berserk suggested it might be unhygienic so I loaded the dishwasher instead. 

Sadly this stupid Blogger app won't let me cross anything out, even though I tried editing in Word first, so I bolded the words that have to be crossed out for funniness. However I keep coming across people who cross out the other option. What the flying bum wipes is that about. 

No 59

Gifs, used to illustrate a point in online debate and/or funnies, that are nothing more than short clips of a pithy quote from something or other. The point of the gif is to visually emphasise what is being verbally expressed. In other words, if I want to say that I am annoyed, I find a gif of something showing annoyance with body language or animal antics - I don't find a gif of Robert Downey Jr. saying "I am annoyed" and put that as a caption underneath.

GOD.

(I've been following a lot of tumblrs lately.)

No 58

Oh I'll just heat some soup, that'll be a quick lunch. My arse. Cooling off period 45 minutes. 

No 57

Webshops that load content as you scroll down. Feck OFF. Just load 40 pics so I can scroll up and down or choose all pages or something CIVILIZED and not this ooooh we're so ARTY bullshit.

No 55

People who whine about having to empty or load the DISHWASHER. I am becoming one of those people. 

No 54

When the butter is too hard and crumbles your bread. 

No 53

When you absentmindedly pick at a scab on your delightful face (because hello fantastic skin of my late thirties) and suddenly you're just GUSHING blood all over. At work.

Also

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11665857/?claim=4xvsn6e9bj5">Följ min blogg med Bloglovin</a>

No 52

Tea tins (caddys?) that don't have a completely open top, but instead that stupid little open circle in the middle that scrapes your hand as you're trying to fish out the tea with your chubby little fingers. Eh.

No 51

At my Pilates class (because I don't just exercise like normal people, I go to pilaaahhteeees darlings, which I'm sure makes someone else's list of annoying things) they have a bowl of apples. So if they're not Granny Smiths I grab one on the way out before I walk home. Annoyingly, I always finish the apple in between bus stops, which means on between bins. I have to carry the sticky core with my own chubby little cold fingers for aaagggeeesss because I can't put my mittens on until it's gone because then they'd get sticky.